That annoying cashier...

So the neighborhood I live has two unnamed K&B, Common Cents, convenient stores right next to it. I frequent both of those shops whether it's for gas, smokes, (ahem) beer, wine, etc...and the cashiers have gotten to know me very well...lucky me. 

See as a smoker I have tried to quit many times...of course to no avail.  I know I need to, I am 35 and I am just too damn old for it. I am not ready, I have 3 kids, 2 of which are teenagers and I work in a bar....blow me...The problem is I happened to mention it to a cashier at unnamed *cough* K&B, about a month ago...now this bitch is up my ass about it, which in turn makes me cross a stop light to go to 'other' above named store.  She literally talks my ear off which makes a 3 minute stop into a guilt ridden 'experience'.  For some reason this chic thinks we are friends and I care to hear about her ADORABLE, SUPER SMART, AWESOME, HIGHLY DEVELOPED BABY OF THE FUCKIN YEAR!!!

Look lady, I don't care to see your baby pics, hear how she was SOOOO good during pictures, I mean honestly she is 3 weeks old, what was she gonna do? Show up drunk, swearing and flip the photographer off? Let's be honest, most newborns are good during pics, look me up when your 'angel' is 3, I am DYING to know how that goes:)

Not to mention having to hear about her recently layed off boyfriend and if I hear of any jobs to let her know...(side note; help wanted sign in the window....Bueller....Bueller...anyone....?No...ok..) Cuz I am honestly gonna start pounding the pavement for said BABY OF THE YEAR'S father???

Here is my favorite part...apparently I am well known in town...yup, I am famous, in Poky...that's like being the 'Most likely to end up a criminal' in HS...She just found out today I work in a bar...YIPPEE!! So all of a sudden her boyfriend is able to be a bouncer and/or bartender....REALLY???? HAHA!! Look muffin, I have ZERO interest in your beer gut having, tooth missing, teardrop tattoo having, loser of a boyfriend who GOT FIRED FROM WENDYS....(true story) in charge of my safety, not to mention he will probably have pictures of that ugly ass kid you are always shoving in my face. So then nowhere will be safe!!! Have him try the balloon guy on the corner of Yellowstone and Oak, GUARANTEE that guy doesn't do background checks!!

So now due to the fact that I have failed to quit smoking I now have to remember when I went to which store so I can avoid a lecture from the cashier, avoid pics of said baby, and avoid being asked one more time if I have heard of any jobs...obviously I am now in charge of Poky unemployment...So this has become a pain in my ass.

So to all cashiers out there, (I worked at Common Cents for years btw), the truth is, I have no interest in being your friend, hearing about your kids, or having you step in on my battle with nicotine. Please allow me to purchase my items in peace and my smokes, beer and wine with no guilt...I have enough, I am Italian, we are born with it:)