My mullet can beat up your mullet!!!

SO It has actually been a good day..somewhat...sort of. Ok, so I woke up at normal time, 11:30...judge me and shower, then leave to go to the BIG CITY of Idaho falls, why do I say BIG CITY do you ask? Because they have the things in which allows the lovely *cough, choke, sputter* great state of Idaho to qualify them to be a BIG CITY....an Olive Garden and an Old Navy!! So anyhoo, we go to the BIG CITY to do some shopping and some lunch and have a pretty enjoyable day.....(DUN DUN DUN)  until...I am in Old Navy and receive a text from my A-mazing hair/nail/friend lady that her little gay brother was beaten up outside our gay club in Pocatello...I KNOW RIGHT???

We don't have an Old Navy but we have a gay club???? I was just as shocked..but anyhoo...I recieve this text and am immediately outraged. I mean c'mon..seriously?? You beat up the 21 year old gay kid..WHY? Cuz he was....WALKING OUT OF THE GAY BAR??? *GASP*...what kind of small dick minded mother fuckers are you??? I mean really people...it is 2012...guess what? Women can vote now!! I KNOW!! Crazy huh?? OH and when you beat your wife, she can report you now!!! Stupid women, gays, and blacks with their opinions and rights....*pffftt*...if only we could go back to squirrel hunting and whittling!! Trust me I am just as annoyed as you! As a woman with a strong opinion, I SURELY wish we could go back to my husband thinking for me!! I tell you what, nothing is more annoying then me having my own thoughts, rights, and dreams!! Talk about exhausting!!! MORONS!! C'mon people put away your camo, rebel flag and wacky tobacky and GROW THE FUCK UP!!!

Sorry us HIGH-FLUTING liberals came along with our NUTTY ideas of equality and tolerance! Just think! IF we let the gays marry, you can FINALLY marry that hot first cousin of yours and NOBODY will judge you, cuz apparently gay marraige leads to marrying your car, dog, truck and gun rack...look people the truth is, who cares? How is the gay community effecting you? Honestly? What is the worst that could happen from you accepting them? You learn how to match your flannel to your gun rack?

The facts are this; people are people, and who they decide to sleep with is none of your DAMN BUSINESS...I mean truthfully, the heteros do WAY weirder stuff then the gays in bed...I know cuz I am hetero...and honestly 10 jagers in...I am a frigging Quentin Tarantino film in the sack. SO who are we to judge? I mean really Idaho, can we PLEASE concentrate on why there isn't an Old Navy in Poky instead of why there are gay people??? I feel like that is WAY more pressing....Now if you will excuse me, my husband is home and I need to ask him what my thoughts are on dinner...cuz I am absolutely to dumb to do that on my own!!!

Update on said annoying cashier....

Great...went to get smokes today and said cashier and SUPER AWESOME BABY OF THE FUCKIN YEAR..are moving out...apparently unemployed boyfriend called her a stupid fat fuckin c*#t!! WOWZAHS!!! SOOOO my responsibility is to let her know if any apartments come up..Jeez, I might have to call into work now!!! Looks like I am apartment hunting? NO..please lady just hand me my cigs in peace....Looks to me like you are now one of the reasons I am unable to quit.....shut up, please...

35 and rockin it!!!

I am 35 now..I am not embarrassed, nor ashamed, nor lie about my age...ever. You know why? (besides my A-mazing 35 year old rack OR the fact that my husband still peeks in the shower and smiles) Because I am smart..like I have figured it out smart..and I find a secret joy in laughing at people!

Obvious great rack and flexibility, husband loves both.....:)

I know this may seem harsh but seriously let me defend explain myself.  I have lived quite a life and seen alot. I have seen some really horrible pain, in my own life and others.. I have fallen many many times but EVERY time have picked myself up, shook it off and kept walking. I have been the strength for almost everyone in my life. I have also been the cause of pain in those lives as well.. I am also not ashamed, or embarrassed by that... (WHAT?? Did she REALLY just say that?????)

Yes, and here is why; Every single time I have been hurt, or done the hurting I have learned, and so have they (you're welcome....jk) It has made me stronger, more humble, and a better person. I have learned the power of forgiveness and the power of being forgiven.  There is almost nothing in my life I would take back. Except maybe the pounds, seriously...I am kind of chubby.

So that brings me to explain why I am smart and have figured it out.  Here is why. At the ripe YOUNG age of 35 I have realized what really matters...being true to yourself. Saying what is on your mind, telling others how you feel, that INCLUDES ladies telling me my ass DOES look fat in those jeans.  I have spent so many FUCKING years not being honest to myself. Telling people what they want to hear. Not being open about my feelings being hurt, being taken advantage of or just plain being angry. And what has that caused? A bunch of bullshit relationships I didn't even want to have. A bunch of hurt feelings and anger towards others that could have been avoided. Friendships that didn't have to end, and some that should've.

My New Years resolution was simple. I pretty much avoided the whole 'quit smoking, weight loss' thing...cuz let's be honest I love to eat and smoke...(not at the same time though, that is just weird) My New Years resolution is to be honest. Say what I am feeling, and no longer be the doormat I have been.  I have always allowed people to walk on me, take advantage of me and my time and I am done...it has gotten me nowhere. If I don't wanna talk to you? Guess what, I won't answer my phone, If I don't want you to come over, Guess what? I will tell you no.  If you're struggling and need a place to crash? Guess what, I will happily give you the number to Super 8, but your broke ass ain't crashing on my couch.

In 16 years of being married, Kevin and I have lived alone for a total of 4...DONE.

I am not a doormat or someone you can boss around...only person that can boss me? KEVIN...but he is GREAT in the sack and I am NOT fucking that whole thing up. I have 4 people I will go out of my way to take care of, I will give you a hint...3 I gave birth to:)

Now before you pick up your phone to text me and ask if I am talking about you...Chances are I might be, a little:) BUT if you still get an answer when you text me these days, you are safe and I love you very much.  I realize I am coming across harsh but the truth is I am tired...so very tired of everyone else's problems, everyone else's complaints and gripes. I have LITERALLY put other people before my family, helped other people instead of focusing on what really mattered and I am not doing it anymore.  I am finally at an age where I am secure in who I am and what matters. I am finally able to say no...I know it shocks some of you to hear that I have that problem but I do...I also know the people that know me the best are probably saying 'About damn time Gina!!!!'

I look around me all the time and see people miserable because they are too scared to stand up for themselves....DO IT!!! I mean honestly what is the worst that could happen really?? You end a relationship with a friend, lover, coworker, family member? Honestly after the initial drama, you will probably be VERY relieved!!

Trust me..I have done it..recently, and you know what? I DON'T MISS HER!! My life is quieter without her in it....I had some great times with her, but glad it's over..look at it this way..I had great times with Patron Tequila too, BUT sure glad I don't hang out with him anymore!!

So now that I have finally learned that I can truly be happy. I can avoid feeling and causing unnecessary pain. Look within yourselves, find what is causing you unnecessary pain and get rid of it. Learn to say no, learn to stand up when someone hurts you, chances are it might be me! And if I do? I will apologize and move on, cuz honestly, life is way to short. I do not want to look back and wish I would have done things differently.

And I can truthfully say, I would never hurt those closest to me intentionally, chances are I didn't mean it...or I was drunk..but honestly if I was drunk it doesn't count...cuz nothing you do counts when you're drunk....Right?? Jeez I hope not!!

 I can't wait to be 40...I can only imagine what I will learn by then!! But for right now? I am happy being 35, I am madly in love, happily married, have 3 healthy kids and some great friends and family! I am grateful to the people in my life that I have CHOSEN to be there. I mean, it could be worse right?? We could be this guy!

God I hate that guy.....doesn't everyone though?

Italians do more then GTL......

So as Kevin and I were flipping thru the TV the other night we fell upon Jersey Shore...Good Fuck! As an Italian woman who was partly raised by a couple EXTREMELY Italian grandmothers, (one fresh off the  boat) I must say what an absolute embarrassment this is.  Let's be honest here, all heritages have some sort of stereotype.  I could list them here but their are a few I am afraid of.... But the Italians have Jersey Shore and that has got to be the biggest embarrassment of all. I mean let's list the characters shall we?

Snooki- This bitch is the worst. She is notorious for what? Getting drunk and showing her cannoli to the entire bar..Let's be honest, nobody wants to see that...NOBODY!! Line from the show; "Nobody wants to sleep in my bed, I peed in it last season!" REALLY???? I am pretty sure urine is the LEAST horrible thing that has happened in that bed. She is a disgrace...My ancestors didn't hop a boat so this train wreck could represent us!

JWOW- Ya, WOW, that sums it up...WOW, you are a whore, WOW, you are a drunk, WOW, you have fake tits...I will give her the fact that the chic has a slammin body, but with MTV money she can afford it...I can't WAIT for this chic to have kids...how is she EVER going to be taken seriously..I feel like even her toddlers will slam tequila and tell her to GFY!! (go fuck yourself)

Mike 'The situation'- Yup, we got a situation for sure here.  If you wikipedia 'toolbag' this guy will pop up..Can I please meet the dumb bitches that are stupid enough to sleep with this guy so I can CROTCH PUNCH THEM?? Really??? I am embarrassed to have a vagina because of those bitches..How does one fall for the guy that is 'The situation'? What line could he POSSIBLY throw?? I feel like any chic that has and or wants to fuck this guy should have their hole sewed shut to avoid possible procreation.  God forbid we have another 'Situation'...

Sammi-Ugh...all I have to say is this; TAKE A MIDOL, STFU, HE WILL NEVER STOP CHEATING ON YOU, STOP FUCKIN CRYING, NOBODY CARES ANYMORE!!! That is all...thank you:)

Ronnie-Really? Hydroxycut? Really? You have Ronnie as your spokesperson...guess what? NOBODY TAKES YOU SERIOUSLY ANYMORE!! Smart move...STUPID! Effin Ronnie, ya he's not on Steroids..NOPE not at all..right, and Snooki can do math. Right.

Pauly D- I am thinking eventually his HAIR, and by hair I mean ALL OF IT, will just eventually chip off..I haven't seen that much product since the 80's and Winger was popular. He is a DJ, so am I...yes, it's embarrassing..But I will give him credit for at least having a job!

Deena-OMG.....OMG....has anyone seen this girls knees??? WOWZAHS!! Guess we all know how she pays bills....if you want anymore info see Snookis descripton...they are pretty much identical fuck ups.

Vinny- Honestly I can't say much about him, he seems like he has the ability to be somewhat normal..the episode we watched showed him going home. Hopefully he pulls out while he still has a chance.

This whole show makes me cringe. As Italians we already have enough negative stereotypes; eaters, mobsters, killers, cadillacs, I mean honestly we are one rap album away from being Lil Wayne..but if all we have to represent us are these fools? We have no shot...it scares me at times, I did live in Jersey at one point...it makes me shiver to think I was one decision away from being an Orange, drunk retard who wears leopard print and pink lipstick...Praise be to God we moved...Please remember people that all Italians are not like this, some of us have brains...and we use them...not all of us behave like drunken monkeys! God help us all if this is all we get 

I feel like I am gonna vomit...even the Corona's are embarrassed....Hopefully people will tune into Cake Boss more....at least that is somewhat more of a real representation of Italian families.

That annoying cashier...

So the neighborhood I live has two unnamed K&B, Common Cents, convenient stores right next to it. I frequent both of those shops whether it's for gas, smokes, (ahem) beer, wine, etc...and the cashiers have gotten to know me very well...lucky me. 

See as a smoker I have tried to quit many times...of course to no avail.  I know I need to, I am 35 and I am just too damn old for it. I am not ready, I have 3 kids, 2 of which are teenagers and I work in a bar....blow me...The problem is I happened to mention it to a cashier at unnamed *cough* K&B, about a month ago...now this bitch is up my ass about it, which in turn makes me cross a stop light to go to 'other' above named store.  She literally talks my ear off which makes a 3 minute stop into a guilt ridden 'experience'.  For some reason this chic thinks we are friends and I care to hear about her ADORABLE, SUPER SMART, AWESOME, HIGHLY DEVELOPED BABY OF THE FUCKIN YEAR!!!

Look lady, I don't care to see your baby pics, hear how she was SOOOO good during pictures, I mean honestly she is 3 weeks old, what was she gonna do? Show up drunk, swearing and flip the photographer off? Let's be honest, most newborns are good during pics, look me up when your 'angel' is 3, I am DYING to know how that goes:)

Not to mention having to hear about her recently layed off boyfriend and if I hear of any jobs to let her know...(side note; help wanted sign in the window....Bueller....Bueller...anyone....?No...ok..) Cuz I am honestly gonna start pounding the pavement for said BABY OF THE YEAR'S father???

Here is my favorite part...apparently I am well known in town...yup, I am famous, in Poky...that's like being the 'Most likely to end up a criminal' in HS...She just found out today I work in a bar...YIPPEE!! So all of a sudden her boyfriend is able to be a bouncer and/or bartender....REALLY???? HAHA!! Look muffin, I have ZERO interest in your beer gut having, tooth missing, teardrop tattoo having, loser of a boyfriend who GOT FIRED FROM WENDYS....(true story) in charge of my safety, not to mention he will probably have pictures of that ugly ass kid you are always shoving in my face. So then nowhere will be safe!!! Have him try the balloon guy on the corner of Yellowstone and Oak, GUARANTEE that guy doesn't do background checks!!

So now due to the fact that I have failed to quit smoking I now have to remember when I went to which store so I can avoid a lecture from the cashier, avoid pics of said baby, and avoid being asked one more time if I have heard of any jobs...obviously I am now in charge of Poky unemployment...So this has become a pain in my ass.

So to all cashiers out there, (I worked at Common Cents for years btw), the truth is, I have no interest in being your friend, hearing about your kids, or having you step in on my battle with nicotine. Please allow me to purchase my items in peace and my smokes, beer and wine with no guilt...I have enough, I am Italian, we are born with it:)

Parenting.....

So I am wide awake at 2:41 a.m. and decided to clean. I cleaned the bathroom and did the dishes, laundry and straightened the house. Why? Why you ask? I can't answer that, cuz I am still trying to figure that out. As I was cleaning my house in the quiet with everyone asleep I had much time to reflect and I came up with these thoughts. You are welcome.

I have 3 boys, 14, 12, and 6 (yes he was a surprise). And I am gonna be honest here, judge if you want but the people closest to me know I would literally lay my life down for these 3, I would fight tooth and nail for them and I have, many times. I am that crazy bitch you wouldn't want as a mother trust me. I am THAT mom that will show up at your school to beat up the 7th grader making fun of you. Nobody likes that mom, but I am not against sitting in jail to teach a douchey kid what their loser parents fail too. Fuck with my children and you WILL regret it. I am sick and twisted and can think of things to do to you that even Snooki wouldn't think of, and that bitch is CRAZY, with a capital Jager bomb! So anyhoo, after getting that out of the way, allow me to elaborate on the 3 shittiest roommates I have ever had! If you have kids you know exactly what I mean! They eat all your food, break your shit, run up the utilities and never pay rent! SHITTIEST ROOMMATES EVER!!!

My oldest -Adam- is 14 and going on awesome, he is pretty pissed we still live here and I am sure wishes we would just move out. The middle -Christian- is 12 and still trying to figure out what the crap is going on with his body and mind, he likes girls but still thinks they are gross and literally getting hair in weird places (we are italian, I am not sure what to tell him) now the youngest -Jonathan or Piz- is 6 and is a DOUCHE I absolutely did give birth to myself with a penis. He can crack me up and piss me off in the same 2 minutes.

As I have watched my kids grow I have come to so many realizations; first one is I didn't end up being the mom I thought, I in no way wish I would've had girls, and boys are dirty, like you have to remind them to shower, (don't forget while in shower to remind them to wash, seriously Bill Cosby wasn't kidding, they will stand under the water til it's cold and not wash a damn thing ) brush their teeth and change their dirty underwear . It has also become a habit for me to wipe a toilet seat before I sit, not because I want to because I HAVE to, if I don't I WILL sit on piss. I have also learned I am grateful for my childhood, I am grateful I went thru the pain and heartache I did. I am grateful I came from a broken home, I am grateful I was horribly poor, I am grateful that I wore hand me downs and didn't have a bunch of toys.

I know that we are told as parents in this generation that we spoil our kids and they don't know the concept of a dollar, or hard work, and maybe they are right. But as parents it is our responsibility to raise contributing members of society. I will never be the 'cool mom' I will never be the mom who let's her kid drink with her because 'I would rather them do it with me then behind my back'! Guess what dummy? They are doing it with you AND behind your back! My kids will have to learn things in a different way I did. I learned by watching my parents make mistakes, I learned by watching my family crumble due to the effects of drugs and alcohol. My boys will have to learn by me teaching them.

Too many parents these days try so hard to get their kids to like them. I would rather teach my kids to respect me and themselves. That is really all you need to teach your children, respect. With that comes everything else.

As I watch my boys grow from babies, to toddlers, to young men, to men I see things in them that make me proud. My kids my be bratty or out of control at times, and they may have their struggles, but I can promise you, my kids will not, break the law, live off of me, beat their wives, neglect their children or be lazy. They will be amazing husbands and fathers because they have Kevin as the example of that.  They have been shown and taught better. These boys will make me proud, regardless if they are plumbers or lawyers. As I look around me at some parents I am blown away by the lack of responsibility they take with the behaviors of their children. Children learn what they see.  Look within yourself and see what you are doing to help your children succeed, see what you are doing to help them fail! I know I do things everyday I could do better. I know there are a bunch of times I could've been better examples to my boys, but I try my best and I love them unconditionally and they see that.

Kids are smarter then we are sometimes and they see things we don't all the time. I as a parent need to stand up for my mistakes I make everyday as a mother and I know I do. I know that while I may make jokes about them driving me nuts and just needing some damn quiet, or why can't they go to school year round (seriously why?) let one of them be a few minutes late walking home and I am having a nervous breakdown, let one of them leave my sight in the store and I will flip shit!

These guys make me want to puke and pull my hair out some days, but I seriously wouldn't change it for the world. Being a mother to these guys has been trying at times, but I am who I am because of them. I have learned more by these guys then they will ever learn by me. As you look at your kids today, ignore the fighting and the crayon on the wall, the piss on the toilet seat, your last piece of chocolate you were saving to eat while watching Mob Wives (judge me), your torn couch, your lost remote, (my BIGGEST pet peeve BTW) your sticky keyboard and your dirty house and remember that they are little people learning from your every move, your every thought and your every action. 

And also remember vengeance is sweet, for one day, you will be the one drooling and shitting your pants and they will have to clean you!! I know for a fact my parents get a little enjoyment every time they come over and my kids are fighting, it's 4pm and I haven't showered yet and the house is a disaster...your time will come! Just pray you raised kids that will take care of you..cuz if not you're stuck with the 18 year old kid at the home trying to earn money for more weed and a 40 ounce, and nobody wants that kid...trust me!

Food stamp day

So I don't give a shit where you live, what country, region, universe, ANYWHERE.  You know what Food stamp day means. It means; GET YOUR ASS TO THE NEAREST WALMART!!!!

You are missing out if you decide to stay home. You don't even have to buy anything walk around with a diet coke, flask, coffee, video camera, I don't give a shit!! Just GO!!

Let me elaborate.

 went today, YUP, HAPPY NEW YEAR TOO ME!!! And guess what? 2012 is gonna be FANfuckINTASTIC!!! You know how I know??? Cuz...(drum roll please) I saw a 2 year old with green hair, no not like some sort of 'accident' but ACTUAL DYED HAIR!!!! I KNOW RIGHT???? Woot frickin woot, God bless America, get me a beer!!!!! Oh his parents were awesome also,  two words....FACE TATS!! You know what face tats mean? It means (and I believe this is Latin) "What, self respect? I'm good!! High paying job? Nope! All set here in mom's basement!" OH AND YOU DYE YOUR BABIES HAIR GREEN!!

Now before people with face tats get pissed and whoop my ass, (which they have no problem doing) Let me elaborate on my feelings of the "face and/or neck tats"

*DISCLAIMER* First of all, if you do not have a friend with one or both of these things? GET ONE! They are the best kind of friends to have, you know why? Cuz they will kill people for you. Nuff said! I myself have a few friends with face/neck tats and they are pretty effin kick ass!!  I will also say tattoo artists are also allowed the face/neck tat...HELLER! Advertising! Face/neck tat on someone who ISN'T a tattoo artist, well let's just say, I hope you like the 'fry station'! Anyhoo, let's move back to FS day.

Part two of Food Stamp Day; KIDS EVERYWHERE!! Parents? NOWHERE!!

Here is the deal, I truly believe that allot of people believe it is socially acceptable to let your kids run around the store, screaming, running into shit and driving EVERYONE crazy while they get to calmly shop the frozen burrito section. Me on the other hand DOES NOT find your child cute, entertaining and or fun to watch! Let's put it this way, I will beat someone else's kid, I am not above it, nor am I embarrassed about it.

Let's play it out.

For arguments sake let's say I see your kid running around when I am trying to make the serious decision between Nacho Cheese or Cool Ranch Doritos (I know Cool Ranch, hands down) anyway, your adorable ugly, snot nosed, sock missing, dirty ass kid runs into me and knocks my Latte out of my hand, I WILL trip him/her laugh to myself as they fall teeth first to the ground (no worries they didn't have all their teeth yet).

Continuing on, let's also say your child tells you I tripped them, now me with my Old Navy onsom, latte in one hand $500 phone in the other smiling innocently at you saying it was an accident and apologizing profusely will make your child look like a liar. And as you walk away I will smile at your child as they are crying from the very public ass whooping they just received.

Part three of FS day; The lack of bra's!

Seriously ladies c'mon, I don't give a shit what your excuse is, put a damn bra on. Nobody wants to see your 35 year old fun bags swinging to the bad rendition of Ozzy playing on the muzak. It is disgusting, and I can't help but stare. I am not saying 35 year old woman cannot have a great rack, I am 35 and my rack is amazing, really it is. BUT I wear a bra. Seeing two swinging tits in the spice isle at walmart makes me want to puke. So pack them in ladies, put your bra on. PLEASE. Think of the children. Oh wait, you haven't seen yours since you got here 2 hours ago. Well, I just tripped one, in the toy isle as they were shoving unwrapped hot wheels in the pockets of their awkwardly big Starters jacket. Oh and your babies sock is on isle 7.

So there is my favorite parts of FS day. Next month on the 1st, grab a coffee and meet me at Walmart, I will be the one laughing hysterically sitting on the bench tripping random kids as their parents buy filet mignon with my taxes.

*DISCLAIMER* I am not saying ALL people on FS are trash, I myself was on them years ago, but ALL of us know the people I am discussing....Gotta go! Headed to Albertsons! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2011

EAT ME....That is all...thank you:)