Blowholes and jager....

SOOOO apparently my hottub has the memories comparable to a spring break trip to Cabo with Lindsay Lohan....Here is the deal, I LOVE Jager...like, LOVE Jager...it is my drink of choice and I am HI-larious when I drink Jager! Ok, ok, honestly I feel I am Hi-larious when I drink ANYTHING..but my friends feel Jager is my awesome juice! So my favorite thing to do is get a couple bottles of...umm..ANYTHING and sit in the hottub with Kevin and my besties...and of course a big bottle of Jager..(hey did I tell you I like Jager yet?).

So I could literally sit here and tell you a minimum of a dozen stories in the hottub and me on Jager but I don't want you all to know how SEVERELY AWESOME I really am, cuz then you will be all intimidated by my superb awesomeness.  So I will tell you just one.

Last summer a couple of my FAV lesbian girls came over and DUH we decided to hottub, why not? It was 90 degrees out...So we of course get our 'hottub set-up' going and prepared for a night of STRAIGHT (no pun intended..seriously) EPICNESS!!! What is a hottub set-up you ask? Well for those of you that have not had the absolute pleasure of hottubing with me, here goes.  A hottub set-up includes the following; a bowl for your smokes and a towel to wipe off your hands, all drinks you will need want, cups, towels, and extra ice.
So we pop on our 'temporary' suits, (I say temporary cuz..ahh fuck it, you guys are smart) and we hop on in!!

Now on a normal hottub night, it would continue on with stupidty, peeing over the side and HORRIBLE jokes...BUT this one was different. Now my one friend decided she didn't want to get in, due to 'someone had to be responsible'...show off. BUT my other friend is a FUCKING ROCK STAR and hopped right in..So me, ROCK STAR friend and Kevin. *Now before you think this sounds like a Dear Hustler letter, move on. Not gonna happen, and if it did (which it didn't) I wouldn't tell you pervs about it.*

We continue with said hottub awesomness and I get W A S T E D!! Now I don't give a shit how old you are, when you are drunk, showing your ass is HI-larious...SO *SUPER AWESOME FUNNY DRUNK AS SHIT* Gina decides to show her ass to the show off  'responsible'  friend who is not in the tub. Now normally when showing your ass, you just bend over, fall forward and laugh uncontrollably...NOT SUPER AWESOME FUNNY DRUNK AS SHIT Gina!!! I bent over and spread em!! YUP one bottle of Jager in! Which prompts my ROCK STAR friend to scream 'Stop showing your blowhole'!! Which then prompts my 'show off' friend to spit coffee out of her nose and proceed to dry heave over the grass.  So since I was W A S T E D this proceeded to go on ALL night and trust me, ROCK STAR friend and I thought this was as funny as a fart in 1st grade. Our 'show off' friend and my adoring husband, were not so impressed...*sober people pfftt*.  I ran with that shit for WEEKS...nothing shuts a mouthy lesbian Italian up quicker then 'I will show you my blowhole!!'
I still laugh about that, and I am sorry but Drunk Gina is HI-larious...and I am positive I will have many more awesome hottub stories to share with you all.  In the meantime I will act respectable while giggling to myself and thinking of the night of the full moon and the blowhole...