Now you're on MY list...

I would like to offer a big

to Oriental Trading Company....
Allow me to elaborate...I am a DJ and part of my job is to plan and execute TOTALLY KICK ASS ROCKING PARTIES!!! (Which obviously by the use of all caps, I do). So I at times have to order party favors, what not..As most of you know, unless you live under a fuckin rock, St Patty's day is coming up. SO I have to order,  beads, decor, etc.  Since I am a cheap bitch...*unless it is Moscato* I drove ALL the way to work which we all know how much I like to leave the damn house, got the cash, THEN deposited into the bank, returned home to purchase said St Patty's day TOTALLY KICK ASS ROCKING PARTY supplies. I come home, get firmly settled online and proceed to pick out all my goodies...Total comes to $103. I drew $140 from work so that I could then go to another website and order lighted cocktail trays for my TOTALLY KICK ASS ROCKING PARTY...(the caps are making you want to be there huh?) Anyhoo...Oriental Trading Company's website declines my card saying billing adress doesn't match...whatever I know it does. Anyway I proceed to call the company and the Indian woman on the phone..HARDLY SPEAKS ENGLISH!!! But, I exhale and work past it. She tells me my order didn't go thru and my card wasn't charged...BULLSHIT!!!! My spidey sense was tingling like a MoFo!!! I KNEW it was but I believed 'what's her face' and proceeded to order yet again $103 of stuff for my TOTALLY KICK ASS ROCKING PARTY. Hang up, pat myself on the back for being BEST DJ EVER and go about my FB'in...Huh, email prompt, ok, I will check....WHAT THE FUCK!! My Chase account is overdrawn!!!! THAT LYING BITCH!!!! I WILL HUNT HER DOWN AND SLAP THE DAMN CURRY OUT HER MOUF!!! SO I call Chase and find out the issue, (I am nice to them, they hold my wine money) then proceed to call OTC back, REALLY I then get the Spanish chic...FML!!! I ask to speak to a supervisor, which after 30 'What's' from me, I hang up and call back...finally get connected to the Supervisor who comforts me with the 'guarantee'...

Because they know all they sold ya was a guaranteed piece of shit. That's all it is, isn't it? Hey, if you want me to take a dump in a box and mark it guaranteed, I will. I got spare time. But for now, for your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, ya might wanna think about buying a quality product from me. 

SO being the super awesome smart bitch I am, I three way her with the bank...(yup I had a 3-way today)...got them connected, gave my info, and then said "fight it out, get my money and my shit, I will hold" GO NATE AT CHASE!!! Guess who has expedited shipping and her account fixed...
SO there you go Ladies and Gents, F U ORIENTAL, F U....you sucked up 1 hour of my time and I could've been doing other things...like playing hidden object games....or Facebooking....You are now on my list....right next to Wal-Mart.....F U!!!
Btw, on St Patty's day the Oasis is having a TOTALLY KICK ASS ROCKING PARTY...