I can't believe I survived...

I know, I know...I haven't written in forever BUT in my defense, I THOUGHT about writing a whole bunch of times...and it was funny shit, like really, really funny shit...anyhoo...Let me start off by giving myself a huge pat on the back for my children still being alive...and mostly ok...by ok I mean no noticeable bruising.  I have 3; 14, 12 and 7...the 14 causes me to drink...heavily. It is 5:09 and I am on my second glass of Moscato, which at this point I should just start investing in Barefoot since I will be drinking it by the gallon until the kids move out.  I refuse to admit I have a problem since it's wine AND I drink it out of an actual wine glass, once I switch to the plastic cups like they do on Intervention THEN I might take a step back. Until then I am fine and keeping it classy. All my 14 yr old does is bitch and moan about how rough he has it..poor kid, 3200 square ft home, PS3, Gamecube, 2 laptops, one desktop with a 22' monitor. 5 tvs...ya he is really Laura fuckin Ingalls over here. Our most recent fight is the 9.99$ charge on my cell phone bill due to some goddamn text bs he signed up for..I am trying to budget and cut corners here (Don't you dare bring up the money I spend on wine...seriously your safety depends on it) He proceeds to tell me we should move into a trailer so we can afford more things instead of the $900 mortgage we pay...I am about to drop him off at the nearest park. Go ahead dude. Knock yourself out, hope you like mac and cheese and the smell of bad whiskey and Pal Mal cigs...He is also pissed because I won't let him have internet on his phone..REALLY DUDE??? You are 14!!! I HIGHLY doubt you will be doing 'research' on the worldwide web. Unless 'research' is Youporn..I am not stupid. Oh wait, he has something really important to say...BRB...
WOW REALLY??? Apparently his friends all think I 'suck' and am 'gay'...well shit...guess I will just off myself right now. The peanut gallery full of jackasses at the local high school think I suck..Shit. Now what..LIKE I GIVE A SHIT!!!
I cannot believe my mother didn't kill me. Seriously. I was a HORRIBLE teenager. I remember. Thank you mother for giving me a chance at life. *insert 3rd glass*
Kevin just got home, this will get good soon:) Well here goes nothing,. Maybe later I will write more. As for now I am going to enjoy the 'circus of despair' that is about to happen in the kitchen...