35 and rockin it!!!

I am 35 now..I am not embarrassed, nor ashamed, nor lie about my age...ever. You know why? (besides my A-mazing 35 year old rack OR the fact that my husband still peeks in the shower and smiles) Because I am smart..like I have figured it out smart..and I find a secret joy in laughing at people!

Obvious great rack and flexibility, husband loves both.....:)

I know this may seem harsh but seriously let me defend explain myself.  I have lived quite a life and seen alot. I have seen some really horrible pain, in my own life and others.. I have fallen many many times but EVERY time have picked myself up, shook it off and kept walking. I have been the strength for almost everyone in my life. I have also been the cause of pain in those lives as well.. I am also not ashamed, or embarrassed by that... (WHAT?? Did she REALLY just say that?????)

Yes, and here is why; Every single time I have been hurt, or done the hurting I have learned, and so have they (you're welcome....jk) It has made me stronger, more humble, and a better person. I have learned the power of forgiveness and the power of being forgiven.  There is almost nothing in my life I would take back. Except maybe the pounds, seriously...I am kind of chubby.

So that brings me to explain why I am smart and have figured it out.  Here is why. At the ripe YOUNG age of 35 I have realized what really matters...being true to yourself. Saying what is on your mind, telling others how you feel, that INCLUDES ladies telling me my ass DOES look fat in those jeans.  I have spent so many FUCKING years not being honest to myself. Telling people what they want to hear. Not being open about my feelings being hurt, being taken advantage of or just plain being angry. And what has that caused? A bunch of bullshit relationships I didn't even want to have. A bunch of hurt feelings and anger towards others that could have been avoided. Friendships that didn't have to end, and some that should've.

My New Years resolution was simple. I pretty much avoided the whole 'quit smoking, weight loss' thing...cuz let's be honest I love to eat and smoke...(not at the same time though, that is just weird) My New Years resolution is to be honest. Say what I am feeling, and no longer be the doormat I have been.  I have always allowed people to walk on me, take advantage of me and my time and I am done...it has gotten me nowhere. If I don't wanna talk to you? Guess what, I won't answer my phone, If I don't want you to come over, Guess what? I will tell you no.  If you're struggling and need a place to crash? Guess what, I will happily give you the number to Super 8, but your broke ass ain't crashing on my couch.

In 16 years of being married, Kevin and I have lived alone for a total of 4...DONE.

I am not a doormat or someone you can boss around...only person that can boss me? KEVIN...but he is GREAT in the sack and I am NOT fucking that whole thing up. I have 4 people I will go out of my way to take care of, I will give you a hint...3 I gave birth to:)

Now before you pick up your phone to text me and ask if I am talking about you...Chances are I might be, a little:) BUT if you still get an answer when you text me these days, you are safe and I love you very much.  I realize I am coming across harsh but the truth is I am tired...so very tired of everyone else's problems, everyone else's complaints and gripes. I have LITERALLY put other people before my family, helped other people instead of focusing on what really mattered and I am not doing it anymore.  I am finally at an age where I am secure in who I am and what matters. I am finally able to say no...I know it shocks some of you to hear that I have that problem but I do...I also know the people that know me the best are probably saying 'About damn time Gina!!!!'

I look around me all the time and see people miserable because they are too scared to stand up for themselves....DO IT!!! I mean honestly what is the worst that could happen really?? You end a relationship with a friend, lover, coworker, family member? Honestly after the initial drama, you will probably be VERY relieved!!

Trust me..I have done it..recently, and you know what? I DON'T MISS HER!! My life is quieter without her in it....I had some great times with her, but glad it's over..look at it this way..I had great times with Patron Tequila too, BUT sure glad I don't hang out with him anymore!!

So now that I have finally learned that I can truly be happy. I can avoid feeling and causing unnecessary pain. Look within yourselves, find what is causing you unnecessary pain and get rid of it. Learn to say no, learn to stand up when someone hurts you, chances are it might be me! And if I do? I will apologize and move on, cuz honestly, life is way to short. I do not want to look back and wish I would have done things differently.

And I can truthfully say, I would never hurt those closest to me intentionally, chances are I didn't mean it...or I was drunk..but honestly if I was drunk it doesn't count...cuz nothing you do counts when you're drunk....Right?? Jeez I hope not!!

 I can't wait to be 40...I can only imagine what I will learn by then!! But for right now? I am happy being 35, I am madly in love, happily married, have 3 healthy kids and some great friends and family! I am grateful to the people in my life that I have CHOSEN to be there. I mean, it could be worse right?? We could be this guy!

God I hate that guy.....doesn't everyone though?